Cenyikquill is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, vain fairy.

Cenyikquill created water eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cenyikquill, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cenyikquill, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Cenyikquill's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Cenyikquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near capybaras while wearing yellow coats and balancing three aluminium spheres on your feet.

2. Never think ill of sick nematodes.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Never wear scarves.