Nilspagfem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, idiotic alligator.

Nilspagfem created energy two years ago.

If you believe in Nilspagfem, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nilspagfem, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Nilspagfem's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Nilspagfem's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never hurt mites.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never play with disobedient children.