Nardutfigpig Bopflagnur Bestrotcapfig is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, staggering whale.

Nardutfigpig Bopflagnur Bestrotcapfig created the cosmos four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nardutfigpig Bopflagnur Bestrotcapfig, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nardutfigpig Bopflagnur Bestrotcapfig, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Nardutfigpig Bopflagnur Bestrotcapfig's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Nardutfigpig Bopflagnur Bestrotcapfig's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

3. Run away from magenta frogs, for they are unholy.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always help snakes.