Teenpinfas is a god.

It takes the form of a large, effective elephant.

Teenpinfas created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenpinfas, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Teenpinfas, it will remove you from existence.

Teenpinfas' most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Teenpinfas' Holy Commandments

1. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

2. Never sing in the presence of turtles.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.