Farnfunjig is a god.

She takes the form of a small, benevolent dryad.

Farnfunjig created a quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Farnfunjig, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Farnfunjig, she will cry a lot.

Farnfunjig's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Farnfunjig's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear turquoise.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never write about chlorophyll.