Loopkamcub is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, happy centipede.

Loopkamcub created the Whirlpool Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Loopkamcub, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Loopkamcub, she will turn you into a hamster.

Loopkamcub's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Loopkamcub's Holy Commandments

1. Loopkamcub loves manatees, so they must be respected.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not drink alcohol.