Dumdimxuck Zenlimveg Japzimflowomin is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, emotional fox.

Dumdimxuck Zenlimveg Japzimflowomin created carbon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dumdimxuck Zenlimveg Japzimflowomin, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dumdimxuck Zenlimveg Japzimflowomin, she will laugh at you.

Dumdimxuck Zenlimveg Japzimflowomin's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Dumdimxuck Zenlimveg Japzimflowomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never think about optics near doves while wearing indigo corsets and balancing six silver spheres on your legs.

4. Never eat spinach.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.