Gomjenlik is a god.

It takes the form of a small, strong cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Gomjenlik created dark matter two years ago.

If you believe in Gomjenlik, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gomjenlik, it will curse you with boils.

Gomjenlik's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Gomjenlik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never write about fluid mechanics.

3. Never think about dark energy near cats while wearing mauve tights and balancing seven iron spheres on your head.

4. Put Gomjenlik first in all things.

5. Never wear scarves.