Nutmetnegtitbem Parkbushab is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, ill-tempered centaur.

Nutmetnegtitbem Parkbushab created a down quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutmetnegtitbem Parkbushab, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nutmetnegtitbem Parkbushab, she will jump up and down on your head.

Nutmetnegtitbem Parkbushab's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Nutmetnegtitbem Parkbushab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Run away if five badgers approach from the east.

4. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.