Sisparkapp is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, kind badger.

Sisparkapp created the solar system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sisparkapp, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sisparkapp, she will make you grow a tail.

Sisparkapp's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Sisparkapp's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sisparkapp.

3. Never talk about dark matter near porpoises while wearing mauve ear rings.

4. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Sisparkapp in the centre of the settlement.

5. Sisparkapp loves mice, so they must be respected.