Hitbestzog is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, bad-tempered elephant.

Hitbestzog created a photon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitbestzog, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hitbestzog, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Hitbestzog's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Hitbestzog's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Feed all hungry dogs.

4. Retreat if six gulls approach from the south.

5. Do not keep five foxes in a large pit.