Witbudyak is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, unselfish weasel.

Witbudyak created carbon two million years ago.

If you believe in Witbudyak, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Witbudyak, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Witbudyak's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Witbudyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear jumpers.

2. Erect a large iron sculpture of Witbudyak on top of all buildings.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

5. Never wear brown dresses.