Motpandab is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, happy turtle.

Motpandab created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Motpandab, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Motpandab, she will turn you into a sheep.

Motpandab's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Motpandab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. Hide from gray porpoises for they are unholy.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.