Bunbastxen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unthinking rat.

Bunbastxen created dark energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Bunbastxen, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bunbastxen, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bunbastxen's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Bunbastxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about dark matter near ducks while wearing magenta jumpers and balancing nine titanium spheres on your hands.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. You must pray to Bunbastxen four times a day.