Panvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tiresome hummingbird.

Panvonk created Africa three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Panvonk, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Panvonk, she will destroy your favourite star.

Panvonk's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Panvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near tapirs while wearing pink hats and balancing eight tin spheres on your arms.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Panvonk.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never look in ponds.