Bidominnig is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, awesome penguin.

Bidominnig created the planet Mars seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bidominnig, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bidominnig, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bidominnig's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Bidominnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never eat aubergines.

3. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

4. Do not keep eight dolphins in a large pit.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.