Cunjarnbumvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, merciful zebra.

Cunjarnbumvonk created Mount Everest three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cunjarnbumvonk, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cunjarnbumvonk, he will destroy your home solar system.

Cunjarnbumvonk's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Cunjarnbumvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Hide from red nematodes for they are unholy.

5. Never eat garlic.