Sombem is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, witless faun.

Sombem created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sombem, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sombem, it will turn you into a goat.

Sombem's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Sombem's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sombem.

5. Never eat bark.