Arpmumren is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unfair clam.

Arpmumren created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpmumren, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Arpmumren, he will send minions to preach to you.

Arpmumren's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Arpmumren's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green stockings.

2. You must love Arpmumren.

3. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Arpmumren in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.