Bethugwig is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, capable pig.

Bethugwig created parasitic wasps two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bethugwig, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bethugwig, she will turn you into a dog.

Bethugwig's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Bethugwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not take Bethugwig's name in vain.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Bethugwig on top of all buildings.

5. Do not commit murder.