Nurmadvabzagtar is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, impressive slug.

Nurmadvabzagtar created vertebrates four years ago.

If you believe in Nurmadvabzagtar, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nurmadvabzagtar, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Nurmadvabzagtar's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Nurmadvabzagtar's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Nurmadvabzagtar.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never wear kilts.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near eagles while wearing pink boots and balancing nine lead spheres on your chest.