Bonappwat is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, benevolent bear.

Bonappwat created humankind four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonappwat, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bonappwat, she will send you a sign.

Bonappwat's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Bonappwat's Holy Commandments

1. Ducks are not to be trusted.

2. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

3. Do not take Bonappwat's name in vain.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not covet oxen.