Fetkenfet is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, contented elephant.

Fetkenfet created an atom four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetkenfet, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fetkenfet, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Fetkenfet's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Fetkenfet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always obey Fetkenfet's priests.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never talk about tapirs.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.