Dittendap is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, merciful tapir.

Dittendap created a top quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dittendap, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dittendap, he will turn you into a frog.

Dittendap's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Dittendap's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always help rats.

3. Never think ill of sick manatees.

4. Dittendap must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not take Dittendap's name in vain.