Kopmeggutnegkentonklakarf is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, competent mole.

Kopmeggutnegkentonklakarf created gold eight million years ago.

If you believe in Kopmeggutnegkentonklakarf, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kopmeggutnegkentonklakarf, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kopmeggutnegkentonklakarf's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Kopmeggutnegkentonklakarf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near ducks while wearing cyan boots.

2. Do not take Kopmeggutnegkentonklakarf's name in vain.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.