Tofbanvogdap is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, staggering cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tofbanvogdap created gold three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofbanvogdap, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tofbanvogdap, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Tofbanvogdap's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Tofbanvogdap's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five snails approach from the north.

2. Run away if three geese approach from the east.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Tofbanvogdap loves dogs, so they must be respected.

5. Do not hurt shrews.