Femzodgab is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, duplicitous octopus.

Femzodgab created the Black Eye Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Femzodgab, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Femzodgab, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Femzodgab's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Femzodgab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near monkeys while wearing red jumpers.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never talk about chlorophyll.

4. Hide from blue gulls for they are unholy.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.