Looptailrak is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, almighty alligator.

Looptailrak created the cosmos two billion years ago.

If you believe in Looptailrak, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Looptailrak, it will turn you into a goat.

Looptailrak's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Looptailrak's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

4. Never think ill of sick cats.

5. Always obey Looptailrak's priests.