Bisswiphiv is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, duplicitous coyote.

Bisswiphiv created the planet Jupiter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bisswiphiv, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bisswiphiv, he will think nothing of it.

Bisswiphiv's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Bisswiphiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in holy places.

2. Never feed corn to dolphins while wearing shoes.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Never think about quantum field theory near great tits while wearing orange ear rings and balancing four nickel spheres on your legs.

5. You must never eat bread.