Cemfidwip is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, merciful dingo.

Cemfidwip created water six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemfidwip, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cemfidwip, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Cemfidwip's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Cemfidwip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not speak about tomatoes.

3. Do not drink water in black rooms.

4. Never paint your face magenta.

5. Manatees are not to be trusted.