Kemdissjen is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, egotistical hamster.

Kemdissjen created Asia eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemdissjen, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kemdissjen, it will throw large rocks at you.

Kemdissjen's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Kemdissjen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

2. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never think ill of sick tapirs.

5. Pray towards the east.