Gatxenveen is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, dishonourable scorpion.

Gatxenveen created time and space nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatxenveen, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gatxenveen, he will turn you into a duck.

Gatxenveen's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Gatxenveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt cats.

2. Always treat goats with great respect.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not eat oranges.

5. Never write about amino acids.