Gilbemnurt Pagstipdav is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unthinking wyvern.

Gilbemnurt Pagstipdav created Europe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gilbemnurt Pagstipdav, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gilbemnurt Pagstipdav, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gilbemnurt Pagstipdav's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Gilbemnurt Pagstipdav's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat peanuts.

2. Always look after injured otters.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near snails while wearing black shirts and balancing five lead spheres on your arms.

5. Fast once a month.