Sandnartnell is a god.

He takes the form of a large, sage cat.

Sandnartnell created the planet Venus six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sandnartnell, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sandnartnell, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Sandnartnell's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Sandnartnell's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Never feed cucumbers to gulls while wearing scarves.

5. Always help porpoises in need.