Taltifjad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, passionate centipede.

Taltifjad created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Taltifjad, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Taltifjad, it will send you a sign.

Taltifjad's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Taltifjad's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never feed cherries to voles while wearing cyan ear rings.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near frogs while wearing brown stockings and balancing five tin spheres on your legs.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always pray immersed in water.