Yatyim is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, duplicitous lizard.

Yatyim created the planet Earth four years ago.

If you believe in Yatyim, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yatyim, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Yatyim's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Yatyim's Holy Commandments

1. Doves are not to be trusted.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never talk about shrews.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near rats while wearing mauve tights and balancing four platinum spheres on your chest.