Ratkenbat Quagsomgad is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, fussy frog.

Ratkenbat Quagsomgad created parasitic wasps two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratkenbat Quagsomgad, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Ratkenbat Quagsomgad, it will turn you into a duck.

Ratkenbat Quagsomgad's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Ratkenbat Quagsomgad's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange sharks for they are unholy.

2. You must love Ratkenbat Quagsomgad.

3. Never eat figs.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.