Cimquimnegneg is a god.

It takes the form of a large, unthinking hippopotamus.

Cimquimnegneg created the universe five million years ago.

If you believe in Cimquimnegneg, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cimquimnegneg, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Cimquimnegneg's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Cimquimnegneg's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry porpoises.

2. Never paint your hands purple.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.