Jancinquam is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, witty lizard.

Jancinquam created time and space seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jancinquam, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jancinquam, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Jancinquam's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Jancinquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never think about solid mechanics near sharks while wearing pink coats and balancing seven titanium spheres on your back.

3. You must love Jancinquam.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Pray towards the west.