Tonhabweequat is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, omnipotent rhinoceros.

Tonhabweequat created Europe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonhabweequat, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tonhabweequat, it will turn you into a sheep.

Tonhabweequat's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Tonhabweequat's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never wear ear rings.

3. Never talk about capybaras.

4. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Tonhabweequat on top of all buildings.

5. Never think ill of sick swans.