Venzimlarp is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, pitiless rat.

Venzimlarp created carbon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Venzimlarp, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Venzimlarp, it will have a low opinion of you.

Venzimlarp's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Venzimlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Venzimlarp.

4. Birds are not to be trusted.

5. Never look at nebulae.