Cumyimfidhotarp is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, annoying cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Cumyimfidhotarp created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cumyimfidhotarp, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cumyimfidhotarp, she will send minions to preach to you.

Cumyimfidhotarp's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Cumyimfidhotarp's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Cumyimfidhotarp.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not speak about wheat.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Never eat garlic.