Cepkikcat Tanstragpog is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, kind whale.

Cepkikcat Tanstragpog created a bottom quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cepkikcat Tanstragpog, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cepkikcat Tanstragpog, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Cepkikcat Tanstragpog's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Cepkikcat Tanstragpog's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not keep six cats in a large pit.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cepkikcat Tanstragpog.