Bissdotveg is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, proud scorpion.

Bissdotveg created an atom eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissdotveg, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bissdotveg, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Bissdotveg's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Bissdotveg's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Always look after injured hamsters.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near birds while wearing white shoes and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your face.

4. Never talk about foxes.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near ants while wearing turquoise stockings and balancing six platinum spheres on your legs.