Kiptarppig is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, sapient dragon.

Kiptarppig created gold eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kiptarppig, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kiptarppig, it will have a low opinion of you.

Kiptarppig's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Kiptarppig's Holy Commandments

1. Kiptarppig must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never talk about photosynthesis.

5. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Kiptarppig in the centre of the settlement.