Badgadrut is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, sage pig.

Badgadrut created an electron eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Badgadrut, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Badgadrut, he will turn you into a tree.

Badgadrut's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Badgadrut's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven otters approach from the north.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Badgadrut.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never wear mauve shorts.