Ruttsishat Lidnigtarg is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, stupid guinea pig.

Ruttsishat Lidnigtarg created water three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ruttsishat Lidnigtarg, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ruttsishat Lidnigtarg, he will turn you into a snail.

Ruttsishat Lidnigtarg's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Ruttsishat Lidnigtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always help porpoises.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near pigs while wearing violet dresses.

3. You must love Ruttsishat Lidnigtarg.

4. Never jump near seals.

5. Always look after injured ducks.