Veenjamhad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, tiresome dolphin.

Veenjamhad created water five million years ago.

If you believe in Veenjamhad, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Veenjamhad, it will turn you into a frog.

Veenjamhad's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Veenjamhad's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not kill dolphins.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Veenjamhad on top of all buildings.