Fotrenart is a god.

It takes the form of a large, uncaring troll.

Fotrenart created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotrenart, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fotrenart, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Fotrenart's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Fotrenart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gray clothing.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Fotrenart on top of all buildings.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never feed lemons to turtles while wearing corsets.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.