Fatjaddog is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, pitiless deer.

Fatjaddog created carbon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatjaddog, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fatjaddog, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Fatjaddog's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Fatjaddog's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop near dogs.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Do not hurt otters.